Thursday, January 24, 2013

Happier at Home: 21 Day Relationship Challenge (Days 2-8)

I recently told you about Gretchen Rubin's 21 Day Relationship Challenge.  Every day, for 21 days, she is sending out an email with a specific resolution that I am supposed to follow.  I wanted to participate because I am a huge fan of her books and found that they have made a positive influence on my life.  I am applying these resolutions to my husband, but they can just as easily be applied to friends and family (for the most part).  Here are the resolutions from the last week (day 1 was mentioned in my original post):

Day 2- Give Gold Stars:  This resolution basically asks for you to give daily positive affirmations to those around you .  Aside from making sure I tell my husband that I love him on a daily basis, I have found myself expressing gratitude to him for doing "routine" things around the house, like taking out the trash or cooking dinner.  Even though a lot of these things are part of our normal rituals, I like the idea of showing my husband appreciation for his contributions to our daily life.  It is always nice to feel appreciated.

Day 3- Make The Positive Argument:  This resolution is a reminder to not be so critical of others.  It states that a person can argue for either side of an argument and find evidence to back it up.  Once you argue for a particular side, you stop, not looking at the other side.  If you think that your husband is selfish, you can find a lot of examples in your head of times he had demonstrated that behavior.  However, if you make the positive argument, that your husband is considerate, you can also think of many examples of that being so.  So when you think something negative, try to take the opposite approach .  As odd as the sounds, I have tried it out a few times this week, and it has helped me see things in a different light.

Day 4- Under-React to a Problem:  This one I had to think about.  I have a typical Type-A personality, and am not always as laid back as I want to be.  The purpose of this resolution is to help cultivate a calm attitude and help you feel more in control.  I really appreciate the spirit of this, and I hope to not sweat so much of the small stuff in the future.  

Day 5- Give Warm Greetings and Farewells:  The resolution basically asked me to make sure I acknowledge my husband's coming and goings, and vice versa.  This came naturally, especially after the first resolution to kiss in the morning and at night came into play.  My husband now reminds me if I ever forget.

Day 6- Dig Deep:  This resolution hasn't come as easily to me as some of the others.  Dig deep means to look inside of yourself to find extra patience and control your emotions.  We'll call this one a work in progress.

Day 7-  Abandon Your Self-Control: There are two ways people avoid temptation (and do not have to exhibit extreme self-control): some people do things in moderation, others abstain from those activities all together.  If you are trying to drink less soda, a moderator would limit themselves to one can a day, where an abstainer would not keep soda in the house.  The point of this resolution is to  recognize which category my husband and I individually fell into a and not interfere with what worked for each of us.  This of course, also applies to other people in your life.  

Day 8- Control the Cubicle In Your Pocket:  As a blogger with a full-time job, this resolution is really hard for me to follow.  It states that I need to make time in the day to be away from my cell phone and off the internet. I spend all day at work on the phone and on the computer.  I often come home and get sucked into the vortex of blogging, reading blogs, surfing the internet, posting on Instagram, checking Facebook, etc.  Next thing I know, my husband is talking to me and I am grunting in response (much to his annoyance).  I go to bed and I have to check one last thing on my smartphone.  It never ends.  I do need to remember my priorities and unplug regularly.  I am not doing this well yet.

Are you participating in the 21 Days of Resolutions?  Do any of these resonate with you?  Are any of these things a part of your regular routine?  I would love to hear how you integrate these things into your life.


Chelsea MacMeekin said...

Thanks to your original post, my husband and I are participating in this challenge as well. I think what's so interesting about these (and similarly to her Happiness Project book), all of the recommendations are so simple and common sense oriented that they are easy to implement, you just have to be conscious of them.

Haute Child in the City

Carly said...

These are all really great little resolutions - I'll try to keep some of them in mind :) xxx

Heather said...

This is a great idea! I am going to check it out.

SizzleandZoom said...

I had to laugh at day 6. That is where I'm at. I have to work at those things.

rooth said...

I think making a positive argument is important and completely applicable to work as well - no one wants to hear complaints but people are more than willing to listen to solutions

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Hi, I'm Erin. I am living back on the east coast after 15 years out west. Currently readjusting to humidity and mosquitos. I love to take pictures and read fashion magazines.... and to talk about nothing in particular (ok, and my dogs).

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